Having been raised in a Proper Baptist home I considered religion an integral part of my life.
I read the bible for its adventure stories and enjoyed them but could not fit the stories of "Miracles" into my understanding of physics even before I knew what physics was.
When I was in the military service I sought out different churches to attend, thinking I would find one of the 'Revealed' religions closer to the understanding of God's action than the versions I had heard from the pulpit.
After attending a service I would approach the Minister as he stood at the door sending the flock on to 'Cracker Barrel' for lunch.
I would begin my questions by asking; "Would you please explain how...", then insert a puzzling passage from his sermon. The many responses I received can be condensed down to, "Boy, You just have to believe!", indicating his duties for the day to parishioners was over and he had no time for a serviceman with a question.
I felt that everything in the bible should be able to be explained to a reasonably intelligent and curious person who was fervently searching for answers they/I could understand. That did not happen!
After pursuing this avenue without measurable success I tried to find the answers to my questions by religious readings. Some, no, many, of these waxed euphoric over the supernatural ability of 'miracles' God supposedly caused to happen. I considered this as being a great insult to God as I understood him. After all, if he had the power to create the universe and everything in it, He had the intelligence and ability to make things happen that followed the laws of nature that he had created and in a time frame that followed those laws.
When I reached this point, I began to question the motives and teachings of all "revealed" religions asking myself, "What controls the collective behavior of the officials at all levels in these institutions." My answer was they were manufacturing hypothetical situations to control those people who they had influence over to give their money, adulation, effort and thought to the Church, not to God or the worship of God.
I reached the conclusion that all revealed religions were mere cults devised to control the behavior of other humans by threatening them with God's wrath.
In a reverse of their claims, I thought that if God felt inclined to 'Miracles' he would probably be tempted to destroy the churches that force the most gullible in society to give work and money to build huge edifices in celebration of religion by claiming they were worshipping God.
God created the Universe including the rules that control everything we are aware of. Of course he goes by the rules He created!
I have tried to align myself with the most populous religions, then failing in the quest attended 'Friends' Unity and Unitarian beliefs but each left gaps between understanding, behavior and reason.
I had to wait until the Internet became easily accessible to discover Deism, I was not smart enough to discover it by myself.
Now, I believe that the age of reason has come to this searcher.
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